Blame it on a mutable square IF you find it a challenge ( or impossible ) to focus. Don’t feel so bad.
Even those spiritual types who normally seem aggravatingly calm and peaceful, even they probably feel like running into the street and tearing their hair out.
It’s sometimes really hard to tame a restless mind enough to meditate or pray, especially when, quite frankly,
the whole damned bag of beans seems like one big fat disappointment.
That’s when you know, hard though it is, you should let go and let Whoever take over for a while.